The Path to Mindful Parenthood
Okay, so let’s just be brutally honest, parenting is tough! Considering it doesn’t come with a handbook on how to be a successful parent, we just do the best we can with what we know or what we’ve experienced along the way. I am now a mother of three, and one arriving very soon! I have a 16-year-old teen boy, and two young girls ages 6 and 5. I had my son at a young age, struggled to raise him while I was basically still growing up myself, but we made the best of it and that is a life experience I now know I was meant to go through. When I decided to have another child, I made sure that I was ready to be the mother I knew I wanted to be. More mindful, more attentive, more self-less, and more patient. I made a promise to myself and my new blessing that I would do everything in my power to be, for her, who I needed as a child. Trust me, when you decide to do something, you will be given all the necessary tests needed to take you to that level, or to help develop you into that mindset. Eight months after having my daughter, I found out I was pregnant again! Yes, two under two, two in pampers at the same time, and you can bet there were some very tough situations. However, looking back now, it was exactly what I needed to be who I am now. The mother I am, the patience I’ve developed, the strength and perseverance to know that I can overcome all hard situations, and the faith I now have in God and his purpose for my life. Parenting can be beneficial for your overall personal growth! While practicing Mindful Parenting, I find myself enjoying both spectrums of parenting, both good and hard. I do feel like l need to emphasize that “Mindful Parenting” doesn’t mean you don’t set rules or boundaries with your kids. It just means the approach you take is just in a way the kids can better comprehend, even at young ages. Personally, I feel like both parents and kids can relate to each other better and stay connected. I have a more extensive guide that will explain in better detail on why mindful parenting is a healthy option for parenting.
For now, let’s just touch on the most common issues of how this style of parenting doesn’t feel like an option for some parents. I’ve gathered the top 5 dilemmas.
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Busy Schedules:
There is no denying the demanding schedules that we fall prey to, sometimes it’s just inevitable! From work schedules to extracurricular activities, to school events, to maintaining the household chores and responsibilities. The business of life can sometimes get the very best of us. These are just a few tips that could be implanted to help organize and slow life down just a bit, for a more effective lifestyle in general.
- Create set times for connecting.
This could mean making sure to eat dinner together without distractions. Having a bedtime ritual like reading a book or some stretches before bed, praying together, or even talking about how each other’s day went and highlighting the best parts.
- Do Specific activities together on set days.
Pick your best days to make it a “game night”. Or plan outings during the weekend! Playing games outside, painting, or going for walks are great options to be intentional about bonding as well. Get organized and pick days that you can schedule these times together.
- Do household chores and tasks together.
This is actually a really clever way to teach your kids responsibility and make them feel essential! Have them help with chores and tasks to make it fun and help speed the process. Cooking together, in a safe way of course, but it also helps kiddos practice feeling independent and like they are helping you out. I’ve also seen a mom explain that she puts a timer on at a specific time every night and when it goes off, her kids know it means to clean up the area they are assigned to. Really love that concept, so that it’s also helping parents to maintain the house.
Technology distractions:
- Set screen time rules.
Decide on a certain time limit that is allowed for screen time. Even having set times per day could help maintain that balance. Because of the variation of schedules on different days, I just have to make sure that I set a timer for each time they use their screen time.
- Engage in activities that don’t include electronics.
Having other activities for your kids to partake in is helpful to help minimize screen time. Especially younger kids, they love the outdoors and going for walk and using their imagination to explore nature. I find that doing science-based activities also keeps kids engaged and interested in learning. There are some really great options available here. Also, reading books together! Great bonding time while also encouraging kids to use their imagination and creativity.
Handling Personal Parental Stress and Burnout.
- Develop and maintain an exercise routine.
Exercise has been proven to help with feelings of stress and depression, while improving your mood, and helping to increase your energy levels. There is such an empowering feeling you feel after a workout! Finding a healthy way to release tension and stress is so crucial to being able to have control over your personal feelings and moods.
- Journaling or meditation time.
Having a journal to express your thoughts and feelings helps to release it all from your body and mind. Allowing your body to bottle up emotions that arise from thoughts can be detrimental to your vitality. Meditation is an amazing way to find balance within yourself. Taking your mind to a quiet place and just learning how to become aware of the thoughts that are causing stress or negativity in your life, can help you practice discernment and better navigate the thoughts in a different way or perspective. “Energy flows where attention goes”.
Establishing Clear Communication.
- Undivided Attention
Practice eliminating distractions while communicating with your kids. Focus on what they’re saying and give them direct eye contact. Even repeating back to them questions they ask to make sure you understand correctly reaffirms to them that you were listening. In turn, they will develop the habit to give you the same undivided attention.
- Ask Questions and Share Stories.
Asking questions helps to stay connected and better learn each other. Ask open ended questions, and allow your kids to ask you as well. Sharing stories about yourself when you were a kid can be entertaining as well! Communication is so vital, it also allows you to see how their little minds are working and how aware they are of their surroundings.
- Communicate Expressing Feelings.
Express your feelings to your kids! This will teach your kids to feel safe expressing their feelings. I feel like this is overlooked because for so long we’ve just viewed kids as our responsibility to raise and mold into who we feel they should be for a successful life. However, kids still have feelings and interpret life differently than we do at their young age. They weren’t born knowing how to process feelings, we must give them a safe space to do so. Asking questions like why they are upset and allowing them to explain without inserting your opinion shows them it’s okay to feel and express. Then you will have a better idea on how to navigate through showing them how to process through those feelings and emotions.
Outside Influences.
- Stick to your Family Values
Stay true to yourselves and your values. Know what works for you and your family and don’t allow peer pressure to change that. There are always ways to enhance those values and make them a more solid foundation within your family. No matter if the trends to follow on social media make you question your choices, always stick to what is put on your heart to share with your family and kids.
- Surround yourself with Positive People
I’m sure you’ve come across the saying “Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.” Couldn’t be further from the truth! Surrounding yourself with positive people, and like-minded people just helps to keep you grounded, and free from distractions and unnecessary turmoil. We’re meant to have and establish community, so find people and friends who add value to your lives, who are kind hearted, and will encourage and support what’s best for you and your family.
In closing, embracing Mindful Parenting is not just a journey, but a profound and transformative way of life. By nurturing deeper connections with our children, we unlock the boundless joys and treasures of parenthood. Giving us time to really slow down and enjoy every moment. Each moment becomes an opportunity for growth, learning, patience, and love, as we navigate the beautiful artwork of family life with intention and mindfulness. Together, let us create a future filled with compassion, kindness, and boundless possibilities. Your journey to mindful parenting awaits- embrace it with an open heart and watch as love, growth, and endless wonders unravel right before your eyes.
With love,
Drefitmama